Back to You Page 4

  “I’m sure I did,” she laughs, “but it was a long ride. I have to pee and I want to see the house. We didn’t come all this way to have a make out session in your car, did we?” She flips down the visor to look in the mirror. “And I’m a mess. Lovely.”

  I watch as she fixes her smudged lipstick and redoes her ponytail. She could never be a mess—she’s fucking gorgeous. “Babe, look at me.”

  With one more swipe to her lower lip, she flips the mirror closed, smacks her lips together to spread that sticky gloss shit and finally looks at me. “Yes, darling?”

  “I have one rule for this trip. You think you can agree to that?”

  She tilts her head and drums her fingers on her thigh. “Depends on what it is. Because I’m not walking around naked all week. I didn’t spend a whole day packing all those clothes for nothing.”

  Taking her hands in mine, I stare into her big brown eyes. “The only rule this week is there are no rules. We have nothing holding us back—no kids, no responsibilities, nothing. We’ve come a long way since… since all that shit that I’d rather not mention, but by the time we pull back into our driveway and hug our kids next Monday—we’re gonna be okay, baby. I promise we’re gonna be okay.”

  Her eyes start to water and I immediately regret bringing up the past and the idea of fixing things. But I want her to be herself—her old self—again. I want her to know she can talk to me, tell me her fears, express her concerns, get it all out. If she can’t do that with me who can she do it with? Besides Grace, I’m her person, she has to know that.

  “I know, Dec. I know we will be. Hell, we are. We’re fine. I mean, we’re here, aren’t we?”

  I know what she means, but being here and being back together is only half the battle. In order to come full circle, for her to truly come back to me, we need to hash it the fuck out for once and for all. I don’t tell her this though. Not now. She’ll clam up and be guarded and we don’t need to spend our first night here like that. Tonight we relax, unwind, rekindle. Tomorrow we talk. “Yes, we’re here and there’s no place I’d rather be. So let’s go inside so I can show you around and then get you naked in the hot tub.”

  “Now you’re talking, Mr. Murphy.”

  “Amendment to my no rule rule,” I blurt out when she calls me that. It’s always been a turn on.

  She looks at me, confused.

  “Keep calling me Mr. Murphy.”

  Her head falls back as she laughs. “You’re so weird. I forgot you like that.” She straightens up and then turns serious, flipping her long ponytail over her shoulder. “Strip and meet me in the hot tub in ten, Mr. Murphy.”

  See… sometimes playing by the rules can be a lot of fun.

  Of all the damn times to have one of those dreams, it had to be while Declan was awake to witness it. I hope to God I didn’t talk in my sleep! Oh, shit! Did I say anyone’s name? I couldn’t have… he would have said something to me. Or woken me up. Besides, Noah wasn’t alone in this one. Declan was there too. And just like in real life, I made the right decision. I chose him. My husband. The man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

  So why can’t I stop feeling bad for the way I left things with Noah? I have zero regrets. Zilch, nada, not one single iota of remorse, but I still hate that I broke his heart. It’s not like Noah’s a bad guy. That would have made the whole thing a lot easier. But he was nothing but good to me and I dragged him into the middle of my marital problems, strung him along, and then tossed him aside. What a bitch. He probably hates me. That’s why I’m having these dreams over and over… it’s the universe shoving karma down my throat and telling me to choke on it.

  “Mi, babe, have you seen this sick view?” Declan sings as he wanders around the house, as excited as a pig in shit.

  He’s so flipping adorable. He’s put everything into making sure I’m okay—that we’re okay. I just don’t have the heart to tell him that I’m still shook up by it all. I guess I’ll have to either come clean and bare my soul—he’ll understand, I know he will—or learn to live with the guilt. It’s probably what I deserve anyway.

  I walk out of the ultra-modern bathroom (which is not at all what I expected for a beach house in Newport), trying to keep my nerves at bay while scoping out what will be our digs for the next week. “Baby, this place is incredible. And huge! We could have stayed somewhere smaller.”

  Dropping one of the carry-ons on the tiled floor, Declan runs over to me and scoops me into his arms. “Nothing but the best for my beautiful wife. You deserve this. We deserve this.”

  Sure, lay it on thick, buddy. Make me feel worse. I mean, why do I deserve any of this? I gave up on my marriage and nearly tore my family apart… all to fulfill some fantasy and live out a dream. I deserve nothing of the sort. I deserve to be alone.

  Registering my thoughts, Declan stares into my eyes. “Get out of your head, Mia. I hate that you’re beating yourself up. I know that’s what you’re doing.”

  Without even trying to hide it, I back away, searching his eyes for an answer. “How? How can you read me so well?”

  “Because I know you, better than you know yourself. I’m not a dumb man—”

  I tilt my head, and narrow my gaze. His act of dumbness is what made me flee in the first place, not that either of us could forget.

  “Okay,” he continues, “I’ll rephrase that. I’m not always dumb. I know you’re in a weird place. I know it’s hard to just go back to being normal when so much has… shifted. That’s why we’re here. Not tonight, maybe not even tomorrow night, but you and I are going to sit down and let it all out. There are things you need to hear and things you need to get off your chest. I’m not afraid anymore. I can’t stand seeing you like this—so at war with yourself. We both did things we regret and have to live with. We can choose to let those mistakes break us or learn from them and move the fuck on.”

  Okay, maybe he’s not so dumb. Staring into his always mesmerizing blue eyes I’m astounded by his strength, his willingness to put the past in the past and make us whole again. “You’re one amazing man, Mr. Murphy. How did I get so lucky?”

  Declan leans in, nipping my neck between his teeth. “You’re about to get even luckier, Mrs. Murphy.”

  His lips trail soft kisses from the sensitive spot behind my ear, along the curve of my shoulder, stopping with a tiny bite just at the tip of my bare skin. I can’t suppress the giggle that escapes me as I let my worried mind just live in the moment. “I love you, Dec.”

  “I love you too, baby,” he says, with his face half buried in my cleavage. “Now, can I show you the hot tub or can I take you right here in the living room? No kids… lots of options.”

  What a wonderful sound. “Right here works.”

  “Right here works.”

  What a wonderful sound.

  I’m done asking for permission, this chick is mine. Hooking a finger under the straps of her tank top, I ease the tiny ties over her shoulder, tilting to bring my lips to her bronze skin.

  Her head falls back as I feather kisses down her neck while sliding the top down her torso. With the cotton bunched around her middle, my hands reach around her small frame to unhook her bra. She lifts her arms so that the lace just trickles away, freeing her still-perfect-after-two-kids tits. God, I could stare at her for hours. She’s still as breathtakingly beautiful as she was that first time—my first time, my only first time.

  I hate to spoil a moment like this with unnecessary words, but they’re aching to be said. She needs to hear them. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Mia. My Mia. I love you so much.”

  Breathing heavily, her hands in my hair, she whispers, “Oh my God, I love you, baby.” Her voice drips with hunger. She needs this. We need this. To be together, connected, without reservation.

  Like an eager teenager, I feel the need to be hasty because my dick is in tremor mode just dying to be inside her. But at the same time, I want to take the time to enjoy her—all of her. We have all the time in the world to expl
ore each other all over again. I intend to take full advantage of that. And I certainly don’t think she’ll mind the attention.

  I take her by surprise and she gasps as I scoop her into my arms to bring her to the couch. She hooks her arms around my neck, giving me access to her bare breasts. Leaning down, I take one in my mouth, my tongue circling the tight bud of her nipple.

  She moans against my neck, her fingers tracing circles on my shoulders. When we get to the couch, I contemplate dropping her out of my arms onto the plush cushions and ripping her pants down to dive right the fuck in. But hearing the soft kitten-like purrs in my ear—I want to turn my kitten into a tiger and I know exactly how to make her roar.

  She lies there patiently waiting, letting me admire the view. I smile as I shimmy her top down her legs and then caress her smooth skin on the way up to unbutton her shorts. She inclines her hips so that I can remove the skimpy denim. “I’m loving the Daisy Dukes, but it’s time to ditch ‘em.” I chuck them behind me and hover over her almost completely naked body.

  A genuine smile spreads across her face, brightening her features—she’s relaxed and happy. It’s doing the trick! Ten minutes in and my plan is working. Now to go to town. I inch down to trace my tongue along her luscious smile. She parts her lips and my tongue darts in and out of her mouth slowly.

  “You’re a tease, Mr. Murphy. You have me where you want me… now take advantage.”

  “Oh, I plan to, baby. But there’s no rush. I want to take my time and enjoy all of you.”

  Her hands fall to her side with a frustrated plop as our mouths disconnect again and I sit up. I position myself between her legs and hook my fingers inside her panties. “Loving these, too. But they’re just in the way.”

  “Then by all means, get rid of them,” she says, bending her knee seductively and placing her foot on my shoulder.

  I turn my head to kiss her ankle, feeling the goose bumps that prickle her skin. I still give her tingles—that’s impressive. But goose bumps are not my main objective right now—I’m going for a totally different effect.

  Slipping the lace down her thighs, she removes her foot from my shoulder and kicks the panties across the room. Now this is a vision. One that has my dick pushing painfully against my khaki shorts to be set free. I mentally tell the eager fucker to hold tight for a little longer while we give the pleasure instead of receiving. Good things come to those who wait. Take one for the team.

  I gently dig my fingers into her leg, right at the bend in her knee, easing her legs open. Hovering over her, I tease the skin of her thighs with my tongue, creating a moist trail to her center. Her hips arch off the couch and she lets out a delicious moan as my mouth finds her and my tongue delves in. She tangles her fingers in my hair, urging me to continue, but I reach behind and take her hands in mine, pinning them down beside her. She moans again as my tongue works from the inside out, gripping my hands tighter as her release builds more and more intense.

  “Oh. My. God. Declan… I’m gonna—” I look up to see why she didn’t finish what she was about to say. “No! Don’t stop! Whatever you do, don’t stop.” She turns to the side, burying her head in one of the pillows.

  I laugh, but before I finish what I started, I want to encourage her to let loose. “Hey, you. Don’t be shy. No kids remember? We’re all alone… you can even scream if you’re so inclined.”

  “Oh, I’m inclined. Just… shhh. I was about to—” Again she doesn’t finish.

  “Say it, Mia. I want to hear you say it.”

  A smile spreads across her flushed, glowing face.

  I let go of one of her hands and bring mine between her legs, inserting one finger inside and then adding my tongue to the mix. I lap up her sweet arousal and then stop again. “Now, what was it you were about to do?”

  She bites her lip and stares into my eyes. It has to be hard to focus on my eyes with my finger still working in and out of her. “Make me come, Declan. Please, just make me come.”

  Ah! Jackpot. “My pleasure.”

  By the time the sun is setting, I’m feeling very unaccomplished. Well, unaccomplished in the sense that we haven’t unpacked, made dinner reservations, or left the couch. However, there is no set agenda and since I created the ‘no rule’ clause, making my wife scream my name three times since we got here—that’s an accomplishment in my book.

  “I’m starved, babe. You?” Mia looks up at me from her resting spot on my chest. Seems we dozed off after the last round and just let the time slip by.

  Running my fingers through her hair, untangling the knots we created together, I kiss her on the forehead. “Famished. Want to go out or stay in?”

  She plays with the tufts of hair on my chest, making small circles. “Looks like we’re going to be spending a lot of time indoors. Why don’t we get washed up and go out? It’s still early and after that nap, I feel reenergized.”

  “It’s a date, then. Join me for a shower?”

  “If I join you for a shower we’ll never get out of here.”

  She has a point. “Okay, you jump in first. You take longer to get ready. Leave the water on, I’ll go in right after you.”

  She pushes against me, leaning up on her elbows, and leaves a soft kiss on my lips. “I’m already having a great time. Thank you.”

  “Anything for you, babe. You know I love you more than words can say.”

  When she gets up to walk to the bathroom, she gathers her clothes and saunters off, completely naked. Even after three rounds, I’m ready for more. “You sure I can’t join you?”

  She looks over her shoulder and throws her balled up shirt at my head. “Stay put, Mr. Murphy. We’re going to break Murphy Junior if we don’t pace ourselves.”

  Go figure… It’s ten o’clock on a Monday night and instead of being in my ninth dream or curled up reading in my bed, I’m actually wide awake and out. On a date. With my husband. Who looks freaking hot as hell for a man who drove all afternoon and then tossed me around for three rounds of mind-numbing, uninterrupted sex. In awe. That’s all I can think as I stare at him across the table… I’m completely in awe of this wonderful man.

  He looks up from his plate and catches me ogling. “What?”

  “Nothing,” I laugh, before taking another sip of my Chianti. “Like the salmon?”

  “Delicious. How were the crab cakes?” he asks, wiping his mouth with the napkin.

  “Perfect. Everything so far has been perfect. But—”

  “Oh, come on. No buts,” he interrupts, tossing the napkin over his empty plate and reaching for my hand across the table.

  “Sheesh. Calm down. I was just going to bring up this news you have to tell me. The suspense is killing me already and I know from the way you tense up every time I mention it that it can’t be good news. So… can you come out with it already?”

  Declan pulls his arms back so that his elbows nearly touch. He cracks out the bones in his back, rolling his neck from side to side—a telltale sign that this topic does indeed stress him out and tense him up. “Not tonight. Okay? Can we just have one night without any drama?”

  I perk up, interested. “Oh, so this is something I need to worry about then?” Declan doesn’t think anything’s dramatic—and we have two drama queens for kids. So hearing him talk about avoiding drama—I’m not buying it. I narrow my eyes before taking another sip of wine. “Fine. You call the shots all week. I’m just along for the ride.” I know it sounds bitchy and ungrateful, but for someone who said ‘no rules’ he sure is playing by his own made-up set.

  “Mia. Don’t. Let’s just enjoy ourselves. We have seven days to worry about all the things that worry us. Can’t we put it off just a little longer?”

  I want to say a million things. Like how having this weigh over our heads will just make me uneasy. Or how him making such a big deal about it is making me think that it’s something really bad. Or how I just have so much I want to say and he won’t let me. But instead of letting my mind run my mouth haphazardly,
I simply smile and nod, agreeing with his plan. “Yes. You’re right. Let’s enjoy ourselves.”

  He lifts his wine glass, prompting me to lift my own, and for the second time tonight we clink our glasses in a toast. “To enjoying ourselves,” he proclaims as if there isn’t this huge elephant in the room.

  I ignore Dumbo and let the magnetism of his eyes pull me under. “To enjoying ourselves.”

  The rest of dinner manages to go by effortlessly. We share dessert and sip on cappuccinos talking about the kids, even though being away from them is what we really need right now. Declan mentions the idea of having more and I nearly choke on my frothy beverage.

  “Um… not now. Two is a handful.” I can’t believe he’d even suggest it after the year we’ve been through. He was the one who freaked out when I found out I was pregnant two months after our wedding. He doesn’t strike me as the type to have a kid to save a marriage. Not that we need saving—life preservers are fully secured, thank you very much—but another baby right now would just add more stress we don’t need.

  He looks at me over the rim of his mug and asks, “Do you want to stop at two? Don’t you want to try for a boy—you know, to carry on the Murphy name?” He flexes his muscles and makes an adorable face, wiping away all my former disgruntlement with his baby suggestion.

  “Connor can knock up that chick and carry on the name. Or knowing Cara she’ll make her poor husband keep her last name. I’m not saying I’m closed to the idea of more… just not now. And besides, you know there’s no guarantee it will be a boy, Dec. You’ve got girl-making sperm, buddy.”

  “My ass. My swimmers can make big strong boys. I’ll show you.” He nods his head, boasting with a grin.

  “You’ll show me nothing of the sort. Don’t make me pick up condoms on the way back to the house.”

  “Psssh!” he erupts, rolling his eyes. “Condoms? You’re on birth control, no?”

  “Yes, but you’re making me think we need double duty—or triple—I’ll make you pull out before emptying your girl-making juice inside me if you keep this baby talk up.”