Freeing Destiny (Fate #2) Page 5
If Stella wanted a four course picnic lunch—I was good. If she wanted to listen to some tunes—yup, had that too. Did she want me to massage tanning oil onto the delicious curves of her back that she couldn’t reach on her own—shit, I hoped so. Bottom line, I was ready for whatever came our way.
A smile tugged at my lips. I’d have my Sunshine to keep me company even if only for another day. A meaningless day in the grand scheme of the countless number we’d wind up spending apart—maybe—but beggars couldn’t be choosers. I’d take Stella in the tiniest of doses if it meant having her around a little longer.
When the last of the gear was tucked away in the hatch of my Jeep, I flipped my shades from atop my head to cover my eyes, and hopped behind the wheel. Twenty minutes later, the crappy traffic on the freeway had me cursing over the music. Time was of the essence. I didn’t have much and I wanted to make it count. But when I arrived in front of the Edwards’ home, all time ceased to exist. She was here, I was here, and the ticking of life’s clock could go to hell for all I cared.
Noticing her struggle with the heavy cooler that hindered her usually lady-like posture, I leapt out of the driver’s seat to help. “Wait, let me get that, Sunshine.”
I took careful consideration of her expression when I said it. I wanted to know her true feelings on the semi-clever but could’ve-been-better term of endearment I came up with. Lucky for me, the spark that swirled in her eyes at the recognition of the name told me I’d done well.
“Thanks,” she said as she released her grip on the cooler. “I think I packed way too much stuff.”
I shot her a wink, loving that we had similar thoughts about being overstocked and ready for anything. “To be prepared is half the victory!” I proclaimed, and pointed a finger in the air stoically.
“And what’s the other half?” Stella asked. She followed my lead as I lugged the clunky Igloo to the car.
Chuckling, I admitted, “I have no freaking clue. Just an expression I heard somewhere.”
“Maybe you meant hope for the best, but prepare for the worst?”
Um, no. “Hey, I will not have any of that negativity on this here voyage to the sand. I hoped for the best, prepared for it, too, and the absolute best is what you’re gonna get.”
Smiling that smile that made my guts warm and gooey, she clasped her hands and rubbed them together as if concocting a diabolical plan. “Okay then, Mr. Ready for Anything, will it be China or Baker?”
“Oohhh!” I crooned. “I had my heart set on Baker but now that you mentioned China—that beach rocks!”
“Then China Beach it is.” She bounced into the passenger seat, making herself comfortable—the way I always wanted her to be around me—by toying with the radio knob.
I reclaimed my position behind the wheel, backed out of her driveway, and stopped her hand from passing over one of my favorite songs. “You’re changing Young the Giant? How dare you.”
“I’m not a huge fan of indie rock.” She shrugged, but relented.
“Give me a day, listen to the entire album, and then tell me you’re not a fan.” The sound that came from this band had such a summery West Coast vibe. I’d fallen in love after one listen and suddenly had the urge to create a new fan.
“You’re so sure of yourself, Jack Davis. Must be a family trait.”
Veering onto the freeway, I tried to defend my family name. “If you’re talking about Aubrey, I’m nothing like her so don’t worry.”
“Oh, I’m not worried. I wouldn’t be sitting here if I were. That bitch is cray cr—oops! Sorry.” Her hand covered her mouth, hiding a smirk but showing she wasn’t scared to be forward about my troublemaking sibling.
“No need to apologize. I know she put your mother and Caleb through the wringer. If anything good came from her craziness, it’s the peace and quiet that comes with her not being around. My poor parents.” I shook my head, thinking of all the drama she’d caused over the years.
Shifting in her seat, Stella faced me. “Your poor parents? Sounds like your dad’s an enabler, giving her whatever she wants at any cost. Emma painted quite a picture of Aubrey in all her glory, and let’s not forget the way she stalked your best friend and physically assaulted my mother.”
True, on all counts. There was no denying my sister had gone a step too close to Girl Interrupted material, but I didn’t like the direction this conversation was headed. Even if it did have my dick twitching inside my board shorts.
What was it about arguing with Stella that turned me on so much? Maybe it was the way her skin reddened and flushed or the scent that rolled off her body like furious pheromones tempting me to push her further. My arousal wasn’t the point—we shouldn’t have been arguing when our time was limited. I had to change this topic before either of us had to defend any more of our family members—sane or insane.
“Can we not talk about Aubrey anymore?” I winced. “It’s obviously a sore subject—for good reason—and I’d rather spend our time together talking about things that don’t get your veins ready to pop out of your skin.”
Patting the exact spot on her neck where the throbbing was visible, she closed her eyes and swiveled to face the road again. “Fine. You’re right. Now let me listen to this craptastic band you like.”
Jesus, she loved trying me—and I think I loved it, too.
Stella
Today’s weather was insane—in a good way. There wasn’t a cloud to be seen from here to eternity and the breeze wafting in off the ocean waves kept the hot sun at bay. This was living. I’d miss days like this when I was bundled up in a parka and waiting for a bus in the dead of winter in New York. Come to think of it, I’d miss a lot of things about California and this particular day when I went back east.
Interrupting visions of snow and ice and city cabs weaving through crowded rush hour streets, Jack sat up from his lounging position. His ripped body glistened with an enticing gloss of sweat, causing my brain to go straight into an erotic tailspin. “I’m getting hot. Time to get wet,” he said, which did nothing to take my mind off wanting to touch him. “Care to join me for a stroll and look for some shells or something romantic like that?”
Romantic. Everything about Jack oozed romance, even if I was trying my best to keep him friend zoned. “Sure,” I conceded as I stood and discreetly removed the bikini wedgie from my butt. A stroll could definitely be unromantic, if I didn’t allow any physical contact like holding hands. Now, to stop staring at the delicious drops of perspiration that traveled the length of Jack’s well-defined and rock-solid back. Geez, when had sweat become something so appealing?
“Put your purse and your phone in here.” He opened a compartment of his heavy duty beach caddy and extended an open palm. After he stored the items inside and zipped up the slot, he clicked a tiny padlock and dusted off his hands.
“Prepared and safe. My kind of guy.”
“Told ya I thought of everything. And I won’t make the obvious sexual innuendo you think I’m about to make.” He winked, then took the lead toward the ocean.
Following closely beside him, I bantered, “I was thinking no such thing.” Lie. I hoped the flush that heated my cheeks could pass for sunburn. My mind was always in the gutter, which was odd for a good girl. But I could probably follow any phrase with that’s what she said and think of a way to turn it dirty. I curbed myself around Jack though. I didn’t want to lead him on. It wasn’t an option when this was headed nowhere.
Jack traced his bare feet along the water’s foamy edge. “This is nice, isn’t it?” he mused.
“Sure is. I needed a day like this.” Before the wedding my brain was on overload, but now, after meeting Jack, it was ready to short fuse with too much going on at once. I needed a stress detox and this was a great start.
“You all ready for your move?” His gaze dropped from mine to the sand when he asked. Knowing how I felt about leaving now that there was someone to leave behind made me wonder if Jack was really interested in the answer to h
is question or just being polite.
I decided not to make a big deal about the distance that would soon be between us and made small talk about the situation instead. “Yes, I guess so. Even though we’re going back home, so to speak, it’s like starting all over again.” I followed his lead as he walked, leaving a trail of footprints in the wet sand.
“What made you and Nina decide on New York? Can’t you design clothes here?”
“Of course we can, but at the time this just seemed right. Ryan’s company is in New York. He and Nina are ready to start the next phase of their lives. Aunt Gina’s out-of-her-mind excited to have her family back on the same side of the country. And now that Mom and Caleb are coming too, it’s exactly right. Picture perfect, in fact.” He had no idea what it was like, after all these years, to finally have Mom agree to move back. That alone carved my decision in stone.
“It doesn’t sound like you believe that—at least not anymore.”
I should have been pissed at his boldness, but I wasn’t. He was right. Crazy how he read me so well. No matter how badly I wanted to laugh in his face and tell him he had no idea what he was talking about, I couldn’t. I was no longer one hundred and twenty five percent positive that New York held all the answers.
“It is what it is,” I hummed, raising my face to the sun and letting it warm the chill that passed through me when I thought about letting go of what had popped up so unexpectedly.
“You say that a lot. You shouldn’t feel that way. There’s always a way to change things, especially when you actually have the power to do so. If you have reservations, why don’t you take some time to decide for yourself? It sounds like your sister, your mom, and your aunt will all be very happy once you’re there, but will you be happy or are you simply following the herd?”
Jumping on the defensive, I clicked my tongue. “Hey, I ain’t no sheep, Jacky pants. I do what I want, for the right reasons, and think everything through to the last possible scenario. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say, hmm, maybe I should uproot my whole life—again—just for shits and giggles. It’s part of my future plan, and it’s a really good plan, too. Just because I feel a little vulnerable because I met a cute guy doesn’t mean I’m second guessing the blueprint I designed for myself—a long time ago.”
He didn’t even give me time to realize what I said. Jack stopped walking and turned to me. “You gossipy witch, you spoke to Emma last night, didn’t you?” His smirk and the way he crossed his arms over his chiseled chest had me knitting my brows.
“Huh?”
“You called me Jacky pants. Only Emma calls me that. Did you have fun chatting about the cute guy you met who’s making you second guess your blueprint?”
Jack
Ha! She called my sister. That meant she was thinking of me. It also meant that even though she was trying to keep things platonic, she felt the same way I did—so unplatonic it was fucking ridiculous.
The revelation made me want to scoop her up and drag her into the ocean. After I got her all wet and excited, I’d kiss the salty water from her lips and grope that gorgeous body of hers that she’d had the decency to keep barely covered all day. God, I wanted to touch her so badly. I needed to kiss her, to determine if our chemistry went beyond wanting what I couldn’t have. Sometimes the chase was better than the victory, but with Stella—the victory was definitely what I craved.
Eyeing her up and down as she tried to weasel her way out of another verbal blunder, I inched closer to her and gripped her shoulders. “Stop fighting it, Stella. There are certain things in life that happen for a reason. You and I are going to happen—no matter what the fucking purpose or result entails.”
I was done putting on a façade. She’d given me an opening when she showed her hesitance about leaving for New York. I never passed up an opening when it was advantageous for me. I was the ultimate opportunist, and today’s opportunity had struck like a lightning bolt of hope.
“Jack, we’ve been over this before.” Stella’s hands covered her eyes and then scrubbed her face as she let out a musical little sigh.
I could not pull my attention from her hands—that were now resting on the sexy hollow of her throat—so I reached out to grab them. “Are you a fan of Disney?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Hear me out. Are you?”
She allowed me to keep her hands enclosed in mine and nodded. “Yup. Love Disney. Now enlighten me, old wise one.”
“Can’t you be like that hot Frozen chick and just . . .” I cleared my throat, and readied myself for the best Disney Princess ballad rendition I’d probably ever give. “Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore . . .”
Releasing my hands, Stella bent at the waist and held her middle as she laughed. “Oh my God. Stop it! I don’t even want to know how or why you know that song.”
I chuckled along with her, because even I had to admit that I gave away too much about myself by knowing even one line of that song. She didn’t need to know that I’d memorized every single word. By heart.
When the laughter subsided and we could both stand upright again, I reclaimed her hands and gazed into her eyes. “Come on, Sunshine. Be the ice queen and let it go.”
“And what exactly is it that I should let go of?” She angled her head, nibbling on that lower lip. Let go of my hands, wrap your arms around my neck, and let me get a taste of those amazing lips already.
“Inhibitions, worries, best laid plans, and most of all . . . your crazy notion that because you’re leaving we can’t have fun while you’re still here. Would that kill you, Stella?”
She closed her eyes and I knew from assessing her body language over the last two days that she was contemplating—even if it was something she was uncertain about.
When she took a beat too long to open her eyes, I leaned in and wrapped my arm around her waist, urging her to continue our walk. “Can I ask why this is so difficult for you? I’m not sure I understand why two people who are obviously hopelessly attracted to one another can’t just . . . be.” Like, really! What’s the issue already? She was making it much harder than it had to be.
Her body tensed beneath my touch. “How can you not see my side of this?” She continued to walk beside me as we wandered further along the shoreline, but her animated movements gave her away. “You know what? I’m calling bullshit again! You know damn well why I can’t just ‘let it go.’ Don’t make me bring up the way you clammed up last night at the hookah bar again. Or would you like me to recount how I saw the exact same fear in your eyes that I feel in my gut?”
Gulp! Lay it on me, sister. She was right. I feared so many things about Stella—the pain she’d leave me in when she was gone, the thought of never seeing her again, never getting a fair chance—but I still wanted to hear her argument so I kept my mouth shut and let her continue.
“I don’t do the insignificant hook-up, Jack. I don’t sleep around—never have, never will. So, as much as I want to be with you—like be with you, be with you—I can’t.” The last two words were a whisper, as if she wished she didn’t have to say them at all.
Maybe she didn’t want certain things to be heard, but I did. “What if I don’t want an insignificant hook-up? What if I want more?”
Joining her hand with mine where it rested at the center of her hourglass figure, she entangled our fingers together. Was she placating me or giving in? “Believe me, I know how you feel, but what’s the point? I’m not staying here, and as tempting as it is to just ride this out—let it go—and give myself to you the way my heart is begging me to—we’d both wind up hurt in the end.”
I wanted to tell her that the pain would be worth it if it meant getting to be with her, be with her, as she phrased it. Even for a little while. But that would be a lie. If we started anything, once it inevitably ended we’d both be crushed.
Secretly hoping for a miracle to land in our laps, I conceded, “How can something so right be so wrong?”
I hated hearing her so cynical about life, but part of me understood her rationale. We put our faith in greater powers to lead us through this crazy world. Sometimes, the way things fell into place proved how spectacular and wondrous life could be. But cases like this—meeting the person who could be my soul mate only to have her ripped from me because of poor timing—made me wonder if the Man upstairs was merely moving me around like a pawn on a chess board.
Stella
The next day should’ve been easy since it was well-rehearsed.
I was supposed to tie up a few more loose ends over the phone with NYU and pack some things to ship to Ryan’s parents in New York. But as I went through the mundane motions, I couldn’t get my mind off Jack.
After our deep conversation on the beach, the two of us ran along the shore in silence. For me, running was a way to relieve all the pent up frustration that came with longing for Jack. A sprint always cleared my mind and prepared me for what came next. For Jack, I couldn’t help but think he was following my lead just to stay in the game. The harder I ran, my feet thudding against the wet sand, the tougher he fought to keep up. He was chasing me—in every sense of the word—and no doubt trying to prove that he wouldn’t lose gracefully.
Why was he making it so difficult? Why couldn’t we just be friends and then say our good-byes, happy to have been given the chance to meet at all? I liked to believe in happenstance—if we were truly meant to be, our paths would cross again at some point in time. I was moving to New York, not Antarctica. People ran into each other all the time. It wasn’t as if it was an impossibility. Jack was friends with my stepfather; I still had other friends out here, so I’d probably be back again some day. I was not about to throw away everything I’d worked for over a guy I just met.
That was my story and I was sticking to it. Except my damn heart had her red pencil sharpened and ready to make some life altering revisions.
Staring at my cell phone, I felt as if it were calling out to me—use me, Stella! Put your pretty little fingers on my screen and dial that boy’s number. You know you want to . . .