Keep Me Page 6

  Arriving home couldn’t have come at a better time. “We’re here. Welcome to my humble abode.”

  He opened his arms, gesturing for me to take the lead. Following me up the few steps to the door, I felt his gaze, weighty and intense, as I fumbled with my keys.

  “Tessa?”

  “Yeah?” I pulled the keys from my purse and turned to face him again.

  “Once we’re inside I can’t touch, right?”

  Stand your ground, girl, even if it’s falling out from under you. “Nope.”

  “So…” His fingers were instantly tangled in my hair again, his body pressing against mine. He rested his forehead to mine and we both closed our eyes, taking in the moment. “I had such a great time tonight, Tessa. Can I kiss you goodnight?”

  He was asking? Wow, maybe I really was breaking him. But broken or not, he was still a force to be reckoned with. The kind of force that takes over your limbs and makes them feel frail and clumsy. “I’d like that very much.”

  The last word hardly had the chance to touch the dark, cool air before his lips were against mine again. He kissed my top lip, then my bottom, sucking it into his mouth and using his tongue to open me up to more of his magic. Slowly exploring at first and then plunging deeper, I let the moment just be, like he said earlier. Being with Marcus this way, entwined together, holding each other, was everything I was missing and didn’t know it. It scared the crap out of me. I didn’t care.

  I brought my own hands up to his hair and pulled him to me as if there were a way to be any closer. I got lost in tasting him and breathing him in, forgetting who he was, or why this was wrong, allowing myself this euphoria. I’d worry about being able to live without it tomorrow.

  His hands cupped my face, his body rigid against mine and I could feel what I was doing to him. Loved what I was doing to him. Losing all sense of control, I reached down to caress the growing bulge inside his designer denim. His breath caught at my contact, my keys dropped with a loud jangle, and the abrupt sound awoke us both from the provocative trance we were under.

  I jumped back, startled by noise and weak from our kiss. I was afraid to look at him, scared he’d use my momentary lapse of judgment against me. But instead he made light of it, which embarrassed me more. “Now who can’t keep whose hands to themselves?”

  Laugh, Tessa, laugh! It was time to reel it in and propel things back to the way they were before. Before I was the one to break all the rules. If I wound up with my friend’s player brother in my bed I’d also wind up with a world full of regrets. “I think I need a cold shower.”

  “Maybe I can join you.” He was relentless. God, what a turn on.

  “Marcus!”

  “I’m kidding, Tessa. But that kiss. Damn, girl. I won’t be getting much sleep tonight.” He picked up the keys from where they lay on the ground between us. As he handed them to me, his skin touched mine, bringing with it a thousand little tingles of electricity. Shit! This is bad.

  I snatched them from him and unlocked the door, taking a deep breath and brushing off the craziness that was spinning around me. “You’ll sleep like a baby and so will I. Now get your butt inside, wash up and go the hell to bed. It’s late, we’re exhausted and I have to be up early for my son.”

  As we entered my house, Marcus followed, his warm, minty breath at my ear. His tongue reaching out to tease the lobe as he whispered, “Did I ever tell you I like my women bossy?”

  Ohgod, ohgod, ohgod! Focus!

  I took out the money to pay the sitter, handed it to her and stalked my way upstairs. “Good night and thank you, Trish, you know the way out. Couch is over there, Marcus. Bathroom’s the second door on the right. Nighty night, don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

  I left the two of them staring up at me like I’d lost my marbles. But I’d lost a lot more than that and it was all because of Marcus. Everything I’d worked for in the last six months was slowly vanishing. My dignity, my independence, my morals. And the worst part was… it felt good.

  The bright morning sun crept its way through the tiny cracks in the blinds. I sprawled out across the bed, stretching and yawning and enjoying that I’d woken up on my own accord and not to the wailing of…

  “Luca!” I jumped up out of the bed and ran to Luca’s nursery. When I found his crib empty, the room absent of his yummy morning smell and the sound of his pleasant after-slumber cooing my heart sank to my toes. Tears pricked my eyes and a strangling lump formed in my throat. My thoughts were rampant and illogical as I tossed stuffed animals and blankets and pillows as if he were hiding from me.

  “LUCA!” I shrieked, screaming like it would make him appear. My worst nightmare was coming true. My baby boy was gone. Zack took him from me! It was the only explanation. My heart thudded so violently that the blood that kept it pumping was deafening. The panic that took over my body was so powerful that it hindered every one of my senses. I was incoherent to the sound of the voice coming from the man trying to shake me out of my paralysis.

  When I noticed he was holding my son—my happy, laughing, here-in-the-flesh son—I came to, relieved. “Give him to me, please!” I snatched Luca out of the strong, tattooed arms that cradled him, kissing his chubby cheeks, his wiggly arms and the entire length of him until I felt he was covered in my affection. Tears dampened my face, plastering long strands of hair to my skin. I squeezed Luca so tight he started to cry, too.

  “Jesus, Tessa, you okay?”

  I gulped back a sob and tried to compose myself. “I thought he was taken.” Saying the words aloud made the situation that much more grave. I resumed my kiss attack on my son, inhaling him as if it was some kind of reunion.

  “Taken? Who would…” Marcus trailed off, scratching his head. His eyes wore a heartwarming mixture of concern, fear and bewilderment. “I’m sorry, Tess. I heard him get up and you were still sleeping and I thought…”

  Heart rate finally back to normal, I answered him calmly. “It’s okay, Marcus. Really. It’s not your fault. I overreacted and overslept and…” And must’ve completely forgotten that Marcus spent the night on my couch.

  “I would’ve never… I mean, if I knew…”

  I’d scared him half to death and made a fool out of myself in the meantime. And suddenly his glowing morning appearance was the reason for my shortness of breath. His chest was bare, the muscular ridges of his perfect physique accented by incredible artwork of all different colors, sizes and shapes. He wore the same jeans from the night before, hanging on his hips and revealing the most defined—and delectable—v-shaped abdomen I’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing. The terror that ripped through me moments ago was replaced by something that scared me still. Wanting. Craving. Longing.

  “Mama. Mama.”

  My attention no longer cemented on Marcus, I squealed, “What? What did you just say, Luca man?”

  Luca was focused on the stuffed bear in his hands, sucking on its nose and then shaking it in the air.

  “He said something?” Mr. Shirtless and Gorgeous stood there confused.

  “Yes! Didn’t you hear him? He just said mama. Didn’t you, buddy? Didn’t you?” I couldn’t control the baby talk now. I was elated.

  “So he mumbled a sound that most babies use to describe everything from the poop in their diaper to the booger in their nose. What’s the big deal?”

  I shook my head, sneering at the gorgeous dimwit in front of me. “The big deal is that’s the first time he’s said it and he isn’t talking about a booger, wiseass. He was talking to me.”

  “If you say so. And just so you know, there is definitely shit… I mean, poop, in that diaper of his.”

  Laughing at Marcus and his failed attempt at domestication I walked over to the changing table and laid Luca down to clean him up. “I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to sound like a nutcase.”

  Marcus kept his distance as I lifted Luca’s legs in the air and used a baby wipe to erase his mess. “No need to explain. I shouldn’t have taken him out of his
room without asking you, but you looked so peaceful and I was up. I just…”

  “It was sweet. Really. I appreciate it.” He was sweet. The gesture was endearing and I should be thanking him for it.

  “Not as much as I appreciate your lack of pants right now.”

  What? Oh shit! “Oh my God. My pants. Get out… I mean, go downstairs. Damn it, Marcus!” In my panic stricken state I’d run straight into Luca’s room without pulling on my pajama bottoms. I was standing in front of Tall, Dark and Shirtless in nothing but a skimpy t-shirt and a thong!

  “Nothing to be embarrassed about, you look hot!” he called from downstairs.

  Yeah, right. Nothing to be embarrassed about. First I make out with him all night, then I cop a feel, then I have a panic attack, and now my whole ass was hanging out for him to see. “Luca, Mommy is a mess.”

  When I got to the living room—after I put on a pair of pants, brushed my teeth and threw on a bra—I met Marcus, who was now wearing his shirt, at the couch.

  “Listen…” I started, but he quickly interrupted.

  “Listen, nothing. Let’s not make any of this awkward. We had a good time last night, without actually having a good time. I don’t regret a second of it. Especially not the visual you left me with this morning.”

  I shot him a look as if to say tread lightly, buddy.

  “But nothing’s changed. You’re still the same hot, Tessie Spano and I’m still the same devastatingly handsome little Marcus Grayson. All’s good in the hood. No harm no foul.”

  I wanted to believe this was true with every single bone in my body, but after last night and how he made me feel while kissing him, everything was changing.

  “Bro?” What I was about to ask Beck was something I never thought would leave my lips… ever.

  “Yeah?”

  “What’s it like to be pussy whipped?”

  Beck threw me a glare that read, ‘enough already, man!’

  But I wasn’t kidding this time. I really needed to understand the feelings that went hand in hand with being pussy whi… okay, maybe a better terminology for it was attached. “I’m serious, Beck. What’s it like to have a… girl? You know, one. The kind you don’t fuck around on, the kind you… date?”

  The smirk that curled on the bastard’s lips made me want to chuck the dart at him instead of the green and white board.

  “Marcus fucking Grayson. A chick’s got those designer panties of yours in a bunch? Who is she? I need to meet the woman with the golden pussy.”

  His face was looking more like the dartboard with each snide remark. I wanted to plunge the sharp metal into his neck for talking about Tessa that way. What the fuck was she doing to me? “Don’t ever talk about… her… like that again. Got it?”

  He backed up from our game, hands in the air. “Ho-ly shit! Sorry, but… fuck, Marcus, this is epic. I never thought I’d live to see the day that you’d be defending a girl or asking me for advice on dating.” He laughed and took a swig of his beer then shook his head. Would it be that mind boggling for me to settle down? Thoughts of all the nasty, dickish things I’d said to Beck about Marissa in the past taunted me. I’d put him through a lot of shit, and why? Because he found someone who made him happy. Someone worth ditching the douchebag lifestyle and settling down. I was an ass and it took these unexplainable feelings about Tessa to make me realize it.

  “Nah, man. Sorry. I’m just…” I joined Beck at the high-top table and took a swig of my Blue Moon. “I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s crazy. I’ve never, I mean never, thought twice about a girl, let alone thought about a future with one. But she…” I raked my fingers through my hair and played with the peeling label on the bottle. “I’m all fucked up.”

  Beck gripped the back of my neck and squeezed, hard. “This, my friend, is pussy whipped. Doesn’t it feel good?”

  I shrugged his hand away, irritated. “Good? How is this good? I haven’t even slept with her and all I can think about is just being near her again.”

  Beck backed up this time, maybe readying himself for the blow that would ensue after his sarcastic comment. “Wait a fucking minute. You’re telling me you haven’t even banged the girl and you’re in knots? Shit! I think I’m speechless.”

  “Shut the hell up, Beck. I know I sound like a babbling… girl, but you have to tell me what to do!” I felt frantic, totally unraveled, and he was the only guy—okay only half-decent guy—I knew and trusted to help me plunge into the unchartered, foreign territory of feelings. I was a mess and I couldn’t do this the right way without some guidance.

  After ordering another round, Beck pulled up a stool for me and then one for himself. Did this type of conversation really require a seat? Fuck.

  “So who is this girl who’s single-handedly unmanned you?”

  It was only the first question and already I was fumbling. Did I tell him the truth? Would he judge me? Would it get back to Riley? Damn, Riley! “It doesn’t matter… it won’t work.” I couldn’t go through with this. It was a disaster waiting to happen because I’d never done the dating thing and was bound to suck at it. If I screwed up yet another of Riley’s friendships, she’d have my head—probably both of them. I couldn’t send another one of her friends running. And I couldn’t bear the idea of hurting Tessa.

  “Why, is she married? Underage? Fat?”

  “No, dick. None of the above. She’s divorced, older than me, and definitely not fat.” Images of her in the thong yesterday morning had me shifting uncomfortably in my bar stool.

  “So then what’s the problem? Sometimes you have to do what feels right, Marcus.”

  It seemed simple enough, but the situation was anything but. “It’s complicated, Beck.”

  “Elaborate… I don’t have all night.” Of course he didn’t—he had a girlfriend to get home to.

  I wanted to tell him about Tessa, give him all the details. He’d always been a trustworthy friend. I could count on his loyalty to me over Riley. Man code had to come in handy for something like secret crushes on your sister’s friend. “It’s Tessa.” As her name escaped my mouth I couldn’t help but smile. Everything about her gave me the warm and fuzzies.

  “Riley’s Tessa? Shit, that is complicated.”

  Even he’d labeled her as my sister’s. Why couldn’t she be my Tessa? “So what do I do?”

  “What’s not to do, dude? You like her, go for it. Riley’s a big girl. She’ll get over it.”

  “It’s deeper than that. I don’t want to mess this up for either of them. She’s the one friend she warned me about. She needs her. They both need each other. Tessa’s been through a lot from what Riley’s told me. And my sister… I feel bad. She’s had no luck finding a good guy and now that Tessa’s back in her life, she finally seems… happy. I can’t take that away from her because it’s inevitable that I’ll screw it up.”

  Beck rolled his eyes, draining the rest of his beer. “Why are you so hell bent on fucking up? Maybe Tessa is the one.” I wanted to crush his short, stubby fingers as he air quoted the words with a smirk.

  This wasn’t a joke. I was seriously torn up about what to do. “You’re a riot, Beck, a real fucking comedian.”

  He leaned back in his chair, cackling with his hand across his chest. “I’m kidding! Lighten up. You’re obviously not the total asshole everyone thinks you are. You care about your sister and Tessa’s feelings. So why don’t you just spend more time together, see where it takes you. If you still feel the same in a week or two, then maybe you need to talk to Riley.”

  That was the best advice I’d gotten from this pussy-whipped wiseass all night. “Smartest thing you’ve ever said. Thanks, bro.” I clinked my bottle with his and then let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding.

  “Good times!”

  The rest of the week came and went with me torturing myself over my so-called dilemma. I was too chicken shit to call her up to actually talk and I had too much pride to just show up at her place and demand she give us a
shot. But by the time Friday rolled around and I was forced to spend the afternoon on set with the woman invading the hidden corners of my mind and my heart, my reserve was about to cave.

  I stared at her in that tight black pencil skirt and the low cut, nearly see-through top that showed the generous hills of her knock-out tits. Fuck! I was in over my head and couldn’t take it anymore. “Tess, come here a sec?”

  Her head popped up from Gary’s tablet when she heard her name. She looked around the set before fixing that hypnotic gaze on me. That was the only explanation for what she was doing to me… she was hypnotizing me.

  “What’s up?” she asked carelessly as she sauntered over to me, swaying those fucking hips like it was her job. Did she know she was driving me crazy?

  “Bike’s mine for the night. Care to join me for a joy ride?” I’d never owned a motorcycle, but this gig had made me think about buying one. This particular one was a Harley Davidson Heritage Softail Classic, and I wasn’t ashamed to say that the metallic blue paint and studded black leather were enough to make me want to cry. I needed this bike and I wanted Tessa glued to me on the back of it.

  “I don’t know, Marcus. I’ve never ridden before and…”

  “… and nothing, young lady,” Gary interrupted to put in his two cents. “Hop on and let Marcus take you for a spin. You’ll look smokin’ on the back of that thing, Tess. I’ll even arrange for them to let him take you back home to Brooklyn if you’re game.”

  Tessa stood there gnawing on her lip nervously. I controlled every urge not to haul her over my shoulder like a caveman and make her ride with me. “Come on, pretty girl. It’ll be fun! Gary’s letting you go early. I promise I’ll get you home in one piece.”

  Gary rushed over to one of Harley’s PR people and when I saw them nodding their heads and smiling, I gave Tessa a little nudge. “Haven’t you ever wanted to let your hair down, allow it to whip around in the wind while wrapping your arms—and legs—around a handsome biker?” My eyebrows twitched, trying to make the situation humorous. But the idea of her legs wrapped around me, her skirt hitched up to reveal those silky thighs… there was no room for humor right now.