Take My Breath Away (The Every Breath Duet Book 2) Page 8

  “She’s been through a lot. I think we should cut her some slack.” Jean came to my defense with another wink.

  I took a deep breath, grateful for her tenderness, and summoned the courage to pull up my big girl panties and be strong for Sam, the way he always was for me.

  “Doctor Bronson said everything went perfectly. I know I’ve said it before, but I can’t thank you enough for this . . . gift.” I was choked up again at the mere thought of how selfless Sam was for doing this for my mother. He was our savior, our superhero. I would never be able to thank him the way he deserved. But I blamed the unsettling emotions on the fact my mother was still not out of the woods, regardless of Sam’s generosity. So much for being strong.

  “Babe, the worst is over,” Sam coaxed me, his speech becoming clearer by the second. “No more tears. Only downhill from here. Ella and I . . . we’ll be outta here before you know it.”

  At that, my nostrils stung and the lump in my throat grew ten times larger. He had no way of knowing about Mom’s condition and yet I couldn’t bring myself to tell him.

  Luckily, Jean—motherly and prudent—took charge and broke the news gently.

  Sam’s tired, still-glazed eyes went wide when she explained about the delayed awakening and the coma. Glassy emerald green orbs swirled with the sincerest compassion. They darted to me at the same time his grip fastened around my fingers.

  “Oh, London. I’m so . . . sorry. I didn’t know. But . . . she’ll pull through. She’s a fighter. She won’t give up.”

  “I hope you’re right,” was all I could muster. I prayed with all my might that Sam’s positivity was enough for the both of us. It had to be, because mine was running on empty.

  After a few more encouraging words and gentle hugs from Jean, she kissed Sam on the forehead and offered us some time alone.

  It was then that the weight of everything struck me at once, a freight train traveling at Mach speed, ready to pummel me to the ground. I collapsed into the chair next to Sam’s bed, clenching his hand as if my life depended on it. And it did. I wasn’t strong enough to deal with all of this on my own. Without Sam I’d be lost, a pathetic disaster.

  I felt like the most terrible person alive for crumbling under the pressure now, when he needed me most. He wasn’t even fully lucid yet and here I was, a bumbling mess rather than a calm, supportive girlfriend.

  Get it together. He needs you right now!

  But hard as I tried to convince myself to snap out of it I couldn’t, and Sam was no fool. He could see I was tormented, and even from his recovery bed, I could tell he wanted to make it all disappear.

  “Babe, come here,” he said, trying to tug me from the chair to offer me a spot beside him.

  I wanted nothing more than to crawl under the blankets and curl up against him where I felt safest, but there wasn’t enough room and Sam was in no condition to be jostled about.

  “It’s okay,” I assured him, sitting on the edge of the mattress. “It’s just a lot at once, but you’re right, everything will be okay.”

  I wanted to tell him about Memphis. That he called; that he was on his way. With Hunter. But how could I? Sam couldn’t afford that kind of stress right now. He needed to focus on his recovery. And that meant I had to suck it up and stop acting like a baby. I had to keep this from him until he was home and feeling stronger.

  Leaning forward and brushing my lips against his, I settled beside him and focused on the good. I was elated that the surgery was over and that he was okay. I was grateful beyond compare for what he’d done for my mother. And I held on to the little hope I had left that together we would see this through.

  “So, tell me all about that dream,” I said.

  As he swam in and out of consciousness recounting it, Sam’s picture-perfect vision came to life before my eyes. It soothed my mind and fed my soul, temporarily erasing the reality that engulfed me.

  If only we could live inside that dream and wake up when this was all over.

  London

  ONE FULL DAY and no change.

  My nails were jagged stubs, my hair a tangled knot at the top of my head. I hadn’t showered since the night before the surgeries, but as grimy as I felt, I couldn’t leave her side.

  I sat vigil beside my mother, clutching her hand and kissing it as if my touch could magically revive her and bring her back to me.

  Doctor Bronson and the team were still confident she would come to, but with each hour that passed, I felt smaller and smaller, like Pinocchio stuck in the cavernous belly of that massive whale.

  “Hey, Mommy,” I whispered again. “Won’t you wake up for me already? You still have to thank Sam; he swears you’ll be invincible now that you have a piece of him inside of you.”

  Every time I thought about it I shook my head in disbelief.

  When he first offered to donate one of his kidneys, I imagined it was one of those things that would never actually come to fruition. But as the months went on and Sam’s screening continued, the reality of the situation set in and eventually took flight.

  I owed everything to him and I would spend the rest of my life paying him back, loving him the way a hero was worthy of loving. With respect, devotion, and gratitude.

  A part of Sam now lived inside my mother. He’d given her a chance to see more, do more, be more. There was no gift greater than more time on this Earth spent with the ones you loved. Wasn’t that what everyone always wished for?

  Now, if she’d just wake up so she could actually experience this second chance. That was my ultimate wish. Could someone, anyone, please grant it?

  Worn out from lack of sleep and an excess of worry, I dropped my head to the mattress only to perk back up at the sound of Allie’s voice.

  “Hey, you. Sam told me I’d find you here.”

  I shot out of my seat and across the room to greet her. “Oh, my God. You didn’t have to come, but I’m so happy you did.” She had no idea what this meant to me. I needed the reprieve. A fresh face. A new set of shoulders to cry on.

  Allie was one of my closest girlfriends from high school, along with Emilia who was homebound, nursing a nasty bout of all-day morning sickness since becoming pregnant with her second child.

  My lips curled up into a smile at the sight of Allie holding a lively arrangement of bright sunflowers in one hand and an extra-large coffee in the other.

  I lunged for the to-go cup and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I take it this is for me and the sunflowers are for Mom?”

  She laughed, walking further into the room and placing the vase next to the others that had been delivered over the course of the last twenty-four hours.

  “Any improvement?” She cut right to it, tilting her head as she assessed my mother’s nonresponsive state.

  “No, not yet, but the doctors say to give it more time. I’m trusting them with everything I have. I can’t lose her, Allie. Not after all of this. I don’t know what I’d do without her.” Tears ran hot and unbridled down my cheeks. I shielded my face with my hands, embarrassed by my appearance. I could only imagine what I looked like. I hadn’t worn a stich of makeup in days, which was probably a good thing since the unrelenting tears would have washed it all away.

  “Oh, Lon. I’m so sorry.” Allie was at my side, pulling me into her arms so fast I felt dizzy. “I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.” She pulled back from our embrace and tucked an errant hair behind my ear as she searched my eyes. “You know what? When was the last time you saw the outside of this hospital? Let’s go for a walk. We don’t have to go far. I know you want to be here when she wakes up. We’ll just go to the courtyard so you can drink your coffee out in the sunlight. It’ll be good for you. Fresh air and vitamin D. Whaddya say?”

  It wasn’t the worst idea, but then again, what if Mom did wake up while I was gone?

  I looked over to her, still unmoving, no different than she was five minutes ago. I could hear her voice now, telling me that I had to take care of myself, too. That she h
ated to see me so worried. Smiling at the way she could impart wisdom even while asleep, I dropped my free hand into Allie’s. “Come on. Let’s go. I have something to tell you anyway, and I’d rather we were alone when I do.”

  The weather was mild and pleasant for November in New Bedford. The sun cast a rejuvenating warmth on my face, the cool breeze refreshing as it swept through the loose strands of hair that fell from my messy bun.

  I sipped the last of my coffee and tossed the empty cup into the trashcan a few feet away. It was a miracle I made the shot, considering how unlucky I felt over the last couple of days.

  “Allie, I feel like I’m losing my mind. And just when everything was going so well, you know?”

  When I told her about Memphis’s phone call and that he and Hunter could be showing up in New Bedford together at any given moment, her sun-bronzed face drained of all its color and her mouth hung open in amazement.

  “And Sam knows none of this?”

  “Of course not!” I whisper-shouted. “I can’t exactly tell him now. I have enough on my plate with my Mom. I can’t set Sam back, too. I need him to get better and come home so we can deal with this the only way I know how—together.”

  Allie eyed me incredulously, her leg bouncing up and down beside me on the bench. “And how do you feel about seeing him again? Does he even know about you and Sam?”

  At first, I thought she was talking about my brother—who would get a big piece of my mind as soon as he showed his face. But when it was clear she was referring to Hunter—my ex-husband. I was faced with an entirely different emotional ambush. Emotions I had no clue what to do with. Questions I didn’t know how to answer.

  “I don’t fucking know, Allie. I’m not sure what he knows or why he’s even coming back in the first place. Memphis just said they were in trouble and from the sound of that alone, I’d have to guess Hunter dragged my idiot brother into some kind of gambling ring.”

  “Did he say that?”

  “No, but what else can it be? Last I heard, Hunter moved to Arizona to be with his mom and dad. I wouldn’t put it past him if he lied and skipped Arizona altogether to try his luck in Vegas. He promised me he would go to Gamblers Anonymous, but who the hell knows? It’s not like I’ve been keeping tabs on him. I was kind of busy falling in love and shacking up with my best friend.”

  Oh boy. The more I thought about it, the more I realized what this whole thing would look like to Hunter. Not that I owed him anything after he basically gambled our entire lives away, gave up on our marriage, and ripped my heart out in the process, but still, a part of me felt maybe I should’ve told him Sam and I were together. There were no two ways around it, this would come as a huge surprise to him, whether or not he still loved me. And there was definitely no denying that regardless of everything he put me through, he was my first love, the man I once promised forever to, someone who still owned a piece of my heart, albeit a tiny, broken fragment of its whole.

  “Shit, London. I hate to say it, but things are about to be shaken up in our little whaling town. This plot twist puts your mother’s soap operas to shame.”

  “Wow. Thanks a lot,” I huffed, dropping my head into my hands.

  Allie brought her hand to my back, rubbing small circles between my shoulder blades. “I’m sorry. I was only trying to make you laugh. You know how I am. I giggle at funerals and lose my ever-loving mind when someone falls. I didn’t mean to be insensitive. Especially not with you.”

  “I know, you weirdo, but you’re right. This is a mess. What am I going to do, Allie? Hasn’t my life been turned upside down enough already? I thought I was in the clear. I have everything I’ve ever wanted with Sam. He makes me happy. I love him. If it weren’t for my mother’s condition, my life would be close to perfect. And now the two of them are going to waltz back into town and fuck everything up!”

  “You don’t know that. Maybe Memphis is finally manning up and doing right by your mom. I bet he and Hunter are just feeling guilty for not being here for you. You’ve been on edge, dealing with so much on your own. Is it possible you misunderstood what Memphis said because you’re so stressed out?”

  I thought back to the quick phone call, trying hard to remember his exact words. I was caught off guard and groggy from being woken up abruptly. But all things considered, there was no way I misheard him. We need you, London. We’re in a lot of trouble.

  “No, Allie. I heard what he said, loud and clear. This is not some nonchalant visit back home to make up for lost time. They’re coming back for a reason and I’m not so sure I want to know what it is.”

  She scratched her head, clearly feeling as perplexed as I was. “Well, you know I’m here for you, right? You don’t have to do any of this alone.”

  “Of course. And thank you.” I slung my arm around her shoulders and released a long sigh into the air. “You know, you’ve moved up a few spots in friend ranking as my former best friend now has a new title.”

  She pouted with an audible humph. “Not fair. It’s only by default.”

  I stroked her long blonde hair, curling the ends of her pin-straight strands around my index finger. “Never. You have never let me down, Alexandra, even during my most trying times. It’s why I told you, and only you, about all of this. I knew you’d listen without judgment and understand what I’m going through as if you were going through it yourself.”

  “Well, I’m honored you came to me first. And I hate to burst your bubble, but sooner or later you’ll have to tell Sam that your ex-husband is coming back. He needs to know before he just shows up out of the blue. For all anyone knows, Hunter might be coming back for you.”

  Her assumption caused me to shudder. I didn’t necessarily think she was right, but then again, crazier things were happening all around me. What was one more? Did God know no mercy?

  I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness, the temporary isolation from the outside world. But before long, both Sam and Hunter’s faces appeared before me, apparitions haunting the deepest, most private corners of my brain.

  One was the face of my past, the other the face of my future. For me, there was no question which belonged to whom. There was no turning back now that Sam and I were together. I was right where I was always meant to be; our paths led us to this exact moment in time. And as Sam said on the night I went to him more than three months ago, we couldn’t regret the past we were never meant to have, but we could make sure our future was everything it was destined to be.

  Many argued that we created of our own destiny. What happened next was not written in the stars or mapped out at the conception of the universe. No, what happened next was up to me. My choices and actions mattered, and if I didn’t get my shit together, destiny would certainly laugh in my face.

  London

  AFTER TALKING WITH Allie, we said our good-byes and I thanked her for lending me the kind of support only she could—genuine, entertaining, and honest.

  Feeling a little lighter now that everything was off my chest, I stepped out of the elevator and back onto the ICU floor.

  “Ms. Monroe, we’ve been looking for you.”

  The nurse was frantic. I couldn’t read her expression so there was no way of knowing whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.

  “What’s the matter? Is it my mother?”

  I was already setting off in the direction of her room when the nurse called out from behind me. “Yes. She’s awake!”

  The news revived my heart with an electric current-like jolt. Not even pausing a second to thank her, my feet sped up in an effort to get me to my mother faster than my legs allowed.

  I stopped short before entering her room. Clutching the doorframe, I watched on as white coats and blue scrubs flurried about the room. I couldn’t even see her amidst the commotion of people and machines, but knowing she was out of the coma was the only thing that mattered. I could finally breathe again.

  The frantic nurse appeared in front of me again, her palms squishing antibacterial soa
p between them. “She’s been awake for about thirty minutes now. You left your phone in her room. We went to check Mr. Goodwin’s room too, but obviously you weren’t there. I’m so sorry we didn’t get to you sooner.”

  “It’s okay. Really.” I shook my head and smiled. Before she could turn away to join the rest of the team, I asked, “She’s going to be okay now, right? Everything is—”

  “Everything seems perfect. Let them finish examining her and then Doctor Bronson will go over any questions you and Mrs. Monroe might have.”

  Thank you, God. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes as my head fell back and I looked to the heavens. My prayers were answered. Even though I was still very unsettled over Memphis and Hunter, at least my mother was okay.

  So many things were out of my hands; I would have to be patient and allow the chips to fall where they may, even if it killed me to wait around and relinquish control. But now I could focus my time and energy where they were needed most—on her and Sam’s recovery. Nothing else mattered.

  I shot a quick text to Henry, who’d gone home last night to get some much-needed sleep on an actual mattress. As I waited for him to respond, a few people exited the room, leaving only a couple more to deal with whatever they were doing to Mom.

  The nurse from earlier made eye contact with me from across the room and motioned me closer with an encouraging nod of her head.

  “Ella, look who’s here,” she said, peering down at my mother.

  I tip-toed closer, unsure of how I’d find her. Was she still groggy? Confused? Had the coma had any effect on her brain functionality? There were so many questions I was sure Doctor Bronson would have the answers to, but I just wanted to know if it was okay to reach out and hug her.

  “London? Is that you?”

  She was still lying down so she couldn’t see me approaching, but the panic in her voice frightened me.

  “Yes, Mom. It’s me. I’m here.”

  As soon as I was at her side, everyone cleared away and the recognition I was hoping for flashed enthusiastically across Mom’s face.